Variant Squirrels

Before I moved to Michigan, I thought that squirrels looked something like this:

And maybe they did, a long time ago. Long before the invention of cars.

Now they look like this. 

I no longer want to cuddle with squirrels, and this haunts me every day.

making up for lost time

I know, I KNOW, this post would have been more appropriate a few weeks ago but, uhhh, just making up for lost time and I thought this demonstrated the angst within my soul rite now

Alex deeply apologizes for briefly falling off the face of the earth

oy vey

Hey Internet, it's me. Olivia.

I'm pretty tired today. I've got a midterm tomorrow in Art History and I'm not feeling that great about it. Well, I guess I should be okay, but today's French exam rattled me. I do not like my professor. Her intonations are very frightening.

I hope she doesn't look for random blogs on Blogger.
I should have used a fake name.

I also just found out that my friend is sick. I feel sorry for her. My empathy is so great that I feel sick as well. Maybe I can get an extension for this test, because I am so, so sick. With empathy.

I had to workshop an English paper for one of my classmates today. The girl I was partnered with used the phrase "spitting in and sipping from the bowels of freedom". That is disgusting. I asked her if she maybe meant bowls. She was insistent that "bowels of freedom" is a common phrase.

It is not. I googled it and am considering emailing her because I am tired and spiteful.

I hope she doesn't read random blogs on Blogger.
I am overestimating my exposure.

I just ate some dark chocolate and am feeling better.

Thanks for listening.
Love,
Olivia

Wait a minute....

Do people still read blogs anymore? I am getting the sense that they are sort of passé. Oh well. I'll be here when they become vintage or when Urban Outfitters starts promoting them as if they are vintage when really they are just mass produced by Chinese children in sweatshops.

I'll be waiting...

It's Just my Face

Recently, the term "resting bitch face" has thrust itself into the vocabulary of my generation. This describes a person whose natural, expressionless face looks cold and judgmental.

"RBF", as it is called, is very common. Especially among those who actually are cold and judgmental.

Another type of unfortunate facial syndrome is a consistent and unavoidable look of disinterest. These people have features that convey boredom, no matter how excited they may be.

I call this "Whatever You Want " face, or "WYW". 

Never try to impress or entertain a person with this defect. You will only be disappointed.

I am not afflicted with either of these conditions. I have something far more detrimental to my existence in society.

"CTLC" face. "Chronically Terrified, Lost, and Confused".

I consistently look like I have been dropped violently in a random location where I have no sense of direction or linguistic comprehension. 

Coupled with the fact that I look about five years younger than my actual age, I am often treated with a troubling amount of care.

I won't even begin to describe what happens when I try to sit in an exit row.

So, the moral of this story is: if someone looks sad, terrified, or lost, don't try and help them. They probably just have CTLC face. 

Llama Fact #1

If llamas had opposable thumbs, not only would they be better piano players...

they would take over the world.